Flava

Son : Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this
awesome girl.
Father : That's great son. Who is she?
Son : It's Sandra, the neighbour's daughter.
Father : Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that. I

have to tell you something son, but you must
promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is
actually your sister.
The boy is naturally bummed out; but a couple
of months later
Son : Daddy, I fell in love
again and she is even hotter!
Father : That's great son. Who is she?
Son : It's Angela, the other neighbour's
daughter.
Father : Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that.
Angela is also your sister.
This went on couple of times and son was so
mad, He went straight to his mother crying.
Son : Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love
with six girls but I can't date any of them
because dad is their father!
The mother hugs him affectionately and says :
My love, You can date whoever you want. He
isn't your Father

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 Wife: You always carry my photo in
your hand bag to the office. Why?

Husband: When there is a problem,
no matter how impossible, I look at

your picture and the problem
disappears.

Wife: You see, how powerful I am ?

Husband: Yes, I see your picture
and say to myself,"What other
problem can
there be greater than this one?

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Teaching: What will u do when u grow up..??

Mangaboy: Facebooking

Teacher: No! I mean what will

u Become...??

Mangaboy: Admin of facebook
pages

Teacher: O My G0d! I Mean
what will u Achieve after u grow
up...??

Mangaboy: Facebook Admin
Rights

Teacher: Idiot! I Mean what
will u do 4 your Parents...??

Mangaboy: I create a page for
them on facebooK. "I Luv Mom n
Dad.

Teacher: Stupid! What do your
parents want
from U...??

Mangaboy: My facebook
password.

Teacher: Oh God! What is the purpose of your Life?

Mangaboy: Facebook but never
face a book..

Mangaboy Rocked....

teacher shocked

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There was this fat man..He went
over and was told they do home
fitness by sending trainers to your
home. After getting assured of the
results, he paid the money and went

home. Later comes the trainer. She
says, "This is how it works. You
chase me and if you catch me, you
fuck me."
The guy got very excited and chased
her and shagged her every time he
caught her. In a week, he had lost
the weight. He went back to the
agency and paid some more money
for another week.
Then comes a different trainer.
Slimmer, hotter and more fit. This
one was harder to catch but
whenever he did, he shagged her
and he was getting to really enjoy
his training. After a week, the
results were great and he went back
to the agency asking if they can pull
a ten kilo weight loss in a week. The
agency said they can deliver that -
guaranteed. So the guy pays and
goes home.
Later he hears the door bell.
Excited, he runs to the door to see
who the new trainer was. He was
sure this one was hotter than the
other two. On opening the door, he
found a well built guy in a trainers
kit. Said the huge guy, "I am your
new trainer. By now you know the
drill. But this works the other way. If
I was you, I'd start
running!"
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Refund my money

!!! Part one !!!

Peter: "I want my money now!"

Tom: I'll kill myself so that I wount pay you *he
pulled a gun n shot himself dead

Peter: "hahaha..... If u think u'l get away with my
money u r wrong, i'l follow u until u pay me he takes de gun n shot himself dead as well Jamas: was watching from a distance he laughed n
said "these guys are funny, I want to watch this till de
end" .... he also took de gun and killed him self!

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 A Couple never fought in 25 years.
A friend asked...

'How did you make it possible?'

Husband: We went to Paris for our Honeymoon,while horse riding,my wife's horse jumped & she fell down.
She got up,patted the horse's back & said....'THIS IS YOUR FIRST TIME'....
After a while,it happened again & my wife said,,,,,,'THIS IS YOUR SECOND TIME'....
When it happened a 3rd time,my wife took out a Gun & shot the horse!
I shouted,,,,,'YOU PSYCHO,YOU KILLED THE HORSE!'....
She looked at me & said,,,,'THIS IS YOUR FIRST TIME'..... And since then,we've never fought...'

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 What main thing can make you dump or reject a man/woman?

Choose ONE only

- Bad shape

- Uglyness

- Brokeness

- Dirtyness

- Diseases

- Arrogance

Specify anyother one.

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 There was a Little girl & her Mother walking through the Park one day & they saw two teenagers having Sex.

Little Girl: Mommy,wat are they doing?

Mother (hesitating): Uummmhh,they are making cakes,now let's go to the Zoo!

At the zoo,the little girl sees two monkeys having Sex..

Little Girl: What are they doing?

Mother: They are making Cakes... Nkt!.. Nkt!... That's it,we are going home now....

The next day,the girl says to the mother,

'Mommy, you & dad were making Cakes in the Living room last Nite,weren't you?

Mother(shocked):.. What? How did you know?

Little Girl: I licked the icing off the Sofa!...

Mother: :|

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A Mom is driving a little girl
to her friends house for a
play date. "Mommy," the
little girl asks, "how old are
you?" The mother looks

over at the little girl,
"Honey, you are not
supposed to ask a lady her
age, it isn't polite." the
mother warns. "Ok," the
little girl says, "How much
do you weigh?" "Now
really," the mother says,
"these are personal
questions and are really
none of your business."
Undaunted, the little girl
asks, "Why did you and
daddy get a divorce?"
"That is enough questions,
honestly!" The exasperated
mother walks away as the
two friends begin to play.
"My Mom wouldn't tell me
anything," the little girl
says to her friend. "Well,"
said the friend, "all you
need to do is look at her
driver's license. It is like a
report card, it has
everything on it." Later
that night the little girl
says to her mother, "I
know how old you are, you
are 32." The mother is
surprised and asks, "How
did you find that out?" "I
also know that you weigh
140 pounds." The mother
is past surprise and shock
now. "How in heavens
name did you find that
out?" The little girl
continues on triumphantly,
"And... I know why you and
daddy got divorce." "Oh
really?", the mother asks,
"Why is that?" To which
the girl replies, "Because
you got an F in sex."

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 A pastor and two of his deacons are out on the river fishing in their rowboat. Twelve o'clock rolls around, and one of the deacons notices a nice spot on the bank to have lunch. He turns to the others and says, "That looks like a nice spot for lunch. What do you say we have lunch over there?"

The other deacon agrees, and so does the pastor. The deacon stands up in the boat, steps out onto the riv
er and walks over to the bank. The pastor looks on with amazement, and thinks to himself, if his deacon is holy enough to walk on water, surely he can.

The other deacon stands up, picks up the picnic basket, steps out of the boat, and walks over to the bank and sits with the first deacon. Again, the pastor thinks, if his second deacon is holy enough to walk on water, surely he can.

The pastor stands up, steps out of the boat, and falls right into the water. While he's splashing around the first deacon turns to the second and says, "Think we should have told him where the tree stumps are?"